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I like to play ‘house’. There. I’ve confessed it for the world to see. As far back as I can remember, I was the teenage girl or the mom or the sister, planning my wedding, pretending I was Olivia Newton-John (who of course had her fabulously handsome husband in the front row cheering for her). I was good at ‘house’. It was my favorite thing to play.
So here I am forty-some years later and STILL enjoy playing house. I love the role of Mom and wife, daughter and hostess. I really do enjoy my place here, at home. I love having people stop by, it’s what makes life rich for me. I love making meals and lighting candles and enjoying the ‘dailyness’ of life.
On Thanksgiving, I went to Helena’s house to visit. She is my 85 year old neighbor that’s been struggling with her health this year. I sat in her smoke-filled dining room and as her daughter puffed on her cigarette, Helena and I visited. Just as I was about to leave, Helena said that she had the ‘best Thanksgiving present I could ever want’ for me. She had me stand about 5 feet away from her and she got up from the table and walked to me with no walker--it felt miraculous! Her eyes were brimming with pride, her toothless daughter had a huge smile on her face, cigarette hanging from her lips. I felt so proud and so in love with Helena. On the way out the door, her daughter gave me her ‘roller-ball’ pen. She said it was her favorite and that it ‘wrote really nice’. Now THAT was a beautiful present.
On Thanksgiving, we brought Big Jerry with us to Chip’s sisters house. I love that he felt so at home with family--like he belongs somehow--and could accept Chip’s family as his own. On the way home, he was lighthearted. He teased us and joked about my driving and our cutting down a ‘living’ Christmas tree. He once said that when he’s in our home he felt ‘hope’. And on Thanksgiving, he did not sit at home alone and watch football, but was welcomed in by an awesome family! I feel love every time I think of Big Jerry. He’s totally ‘one of a kind’.
Hans is another dear friend of mine. He turned 60 this year. Hans is beautiful, brilliant and has a tender heart. On Friday morning, I heard a knock on the door. I still had my hair wrapped in a towel and the coffee was just beginning to perk. Hans was standing at the door with the most beautiful, red pointsetta in hand. We talked for a while in the kitchen and he gave me the plant. The very first beginnings of our Christmas decorating began with Hans on Friday morning. I felt so loved.
I realize that I am not playing ‘house’. It’s far better than I could ever have imagined. There are good days and bad, there are days when I’m so exhausted (emotionally and physically) that I can hardly move, but there are other days when I feel as if I’m a part of a really, really good story. And I am, and I’m just so thankful.
This year, I’m thankful for the daily life, for the beautiful people God continues to bring to our doorstep. I’m thankful that I can use pots and pans, candles and lighting, fabrics and wood, music and conversation, to make a home feel warm. I’ve practiced playing house for a long time, but this is far better.
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| REWARDS REWARDS REWARDS!
I admit it. I love rewards. When I was a kid and sat through the ENTIRE Christmas program, I got a little box of hard candy with pictures of the wise men on it (SO worth sitting still for).
When our kids were younger, we would reward them after something really hard. Tessa was the adventurous one, so she was always in the ER. We’d reward her with a Barbie of her choice after being stitched up--woo hoo--that’s a biggie. Taryn broke her elbow once and she finally got her dream wedding Barbie. (Hmmm... maybe that’s why they kept getting injured?!)
Tessa spoke in her school chapel today. I knew how hard it was for this ‘quieter’ kid to get up in front of hundreds of kids and share the deep work God has been doing in her life, but she knew she needed to do it and was doing it out of pure obedience. Yae--she did it! On the way home from chapel today, I found the Christmas David Archuletta cd for her--woo hoo for rewards! I can’t wait to give it to her.
Some days, we are immediately rewarded (my ADD self LOVES that). Other times, we may never see the reward. In Hebrews, it says that without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
Yipee for eternal rewards or earnestly seeking Him.
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Some things just seem to big to blog about, but I'm going to attempt to today...
Tessa has been sick for a little over 3 years. In the last year, she's struggled with intense pain in her side. We determined it to be gallstones and radically altered her diet. If she lived on cucumbers, beets, carrots, she was alright, but if she deterred in the least, she was in pain again. She continuously ran a fever and always had stomach issues. Last Wednesday, there was a unique outpouring of the love of God during Tre's class at IHOP-University. I talked to Tre that night and he told us to watch the webstream. As I watched, I knew that if I got Tessa to KC, she'd be healed.
Tessa and I left at 5 am the next morning. That night, during the meeting, someone gave a testimony of being healed of self-hatred and shame. Tessa was standing next to me, looking absolutely beautiful, hands open before her, head down and weeping. I started to pray for her and others gathered around. For about a half hour or so, they prayed and she sobbed. During that time, the Lord delivered her from a spirit of self hatred. Her stomach ache went away immediately, but her gall stone issues were still present. The next day, she looked in the mirror and said, 'Mom, did you know my eyes sparkle?' Ah! It rips me to shreds when I think she didn't see that before.
The next night, one of the leaders said that there was someone who had gall bladder issues and would need surgery, but that God was going to heal them. Tessa's jaw dropped and all her friends ran to her, knowing it was her. They prayed for her and as they did, Tessa felt a bubbling sensation in her abdomen for about a minute, and all the pain left. She was fully healed.
We would think that this would be the end of a really good story, but it's not. She blogged about her experience with the Lord and many have been touched through it. She was beginning to be known as 'the kid that was always sick' at high school, but now they see her looking better than she EVER has and full of energy and life. A true living testimony of the move of God. She is hoping to speak to her chapel and is asking the Lord to move powerfully and break off the chains of those walking in self-hatred.
So, how do you blog about something this big? Beats me, but I had to attempt it because it's infiltrated our lives in such a big way. Once again, we are reminded that God is truly Immanuel, God with us. That through the blood of Jesus, we are healed. It's true. It blows my mind once again, but it's true...
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|  'Better Than Beauty'. The title makes me want to buy it. I've seen what true beauty looks like and it makes me jealous for it. I have a friend that has walked a VERY long road of suffering and hardship. But she has never been offended before the Lord and she has allowed Him, invited Him, asked Him to breathe into, the toughest seasons. Whenever we pray together, I weep. I'm always saying 'God, do you see this woman? Isn't she so beautiful?' When she tells me what God is doing, I totally listen. I know that because of her walk of humiliation, her suffering, she is more in tune with the heart of God. I really believe her when she tells me that she's only living for the evaluation of One. While the things of this world: 'stuff', people, ministries, have wrought heartache, God has worked beauty through a humble heart that is willing to rest in Him alone.
I have the joy of seeing Jesus each time I look at her and it makes me jealous for suffering. This is truly beyond beauty...
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Washin’ the feet... Last night at house church, Chip taught on servanthood, that Jesus was the greatest servant of all, unto death. After worship, we had communion and a time for washing each others’ feet. Whoever you wanted to bless, you would go to that person and wash their feet.
I have a friend that is so beautiful. She has walked a true road of suffering, with the recent loss of her husband to cancer, the raising of three girls, and all that comes with it, etc. and yet she has ALWAYS pursued the Lord with an unoffended heart. She weeps in compassion and rejoices with those who rejoice. I’ve truly never met anyone like her and I would say that she’s a hero, of sorts, to me. Her walk of faith is deeper than most people I’ve met, her freedom is definitely greater than I’ve ever seen! She walks in a different reality than me. Sometimes, I find myself jealous of her suffering because her heart is so alive before the Lord.
The music was quietly playing in the background. I washed the neighborhood kids’ feet and afterward, I saw my friend waiting for me, pitcher in hand, towel over her arm. And I thought, ‘Oh God, I cannot have my feet washed by this beautiful servant.’ And yet that is what she did. And she wept and she blessed and spoke life over me. My beautiful, humble, friend, who is truly married to her Beloved. She knows Him well.
Last night, Carmen was the hands of Jesus to me and I find today that through her humility, I am more deeply touched that this humble Man came to serve, to lay down His life for one like me...
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